This is the second episode of the series “Living from The Other Side”. Living from the Other Side does not imply an existence free of problems, but a transformation in our approach to life and everything on it, so we can choose happiness in the face of any circumstance.
The series Living from The Other Side proposes 7 ACTIONS FOR AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE, “Give-up being right” is the second of those seven actions. Learn why our adiction to righteousness kills our life and our relationships and discover for yourself what is more important for you: to be right or to have the relationship?
Here is the heresy: “The cost of being right“, published on my first book Heresy: A Guide to Challenge Your Beliefs and Create Happiness in Your Life.
I am always right, always. You are always right, always. Reason is a chameleon-like glue that adapts to whoever uses it: from the perspective of each person, from one’s own point of view, in this line of thinking, each person has their own opinion, and each person is right: the truth is in the eye of the beholder.
Then our Ego comes to play in the equation: we always want to be right; of course we are always right! We consider ourselves to be owners of the truth, as if our “version of the truth” were the truth itself, as if we were the size of the entire Universe itself, and we could know all of its slightest revelations. We act like owners of truth and reason, and I repeat, we are.
And an immediate question is: “and what’s so bad about that?” Nothing, there’s nothing wrong about being right, but it does carry with it a related cost: the relationship. Whenever we face someone else thinking, “I am right,” we are necessarily judging the other and doing so mistakenly. Very probably we are also creating a situation in which he or she is pigeonholed in “their” logic and in “their truth,” that for them would be “logic/the truth.” Each from their own perspective closes themselves off from others, which isn’t any way to “convince” anybody and each goes on in their own way, full of their logic and truths, but very much lacking love in many cases, and with damaged relationships and dead relationships because of so many clashes stemming from reason.
Today, my heresy is that it isn’t worth it to be right, it isn’t worth it because you have to pay to get to that point and feel like the winner and owner of “the truth,” when what we lose, what is at play, is love, it’s the relationship, it’s the other person, and at the end of the day, it’s oneself. We wind up being right but without happiness, and if our goal in life is to be happy, well then we lose sight of the goal, and so lose ourselves.
It isn’t worth it.
And so I have begun to practice “non-reason” in my life. If I am right or not, I don’t even ask myself, I have chosen to be completely “irrational,” without reason, I have simply chosen to believe that I do not reason, possess and will never possess absolute truth, and while I live, I will chose love and happiness over any and after all, I have lived long enough with reason in my life! After all, reason is also a heresy!